Next in my series on the naive things I believe as a first time parent: I believe that I will be able to break the habits I’m teaching Isaac now.
It’s easiest to explain this by example. So for instance, I’m trying to teach Isaac to suck his thumb… because Isaac’s thumb will always be around him and thumb sucking is something he can do on his own to calm himself down.
Nice enough. However, if Isaac continues to suck his thumb through grade school, he could develop mouth/tooth problems. My niece is actually wearing a brace to correct an overbite (under bite?) that is probably a result of thumb sucking.
So I naively believe that I will be able to do a better job at “breaking” Isaac of his habit of thumb sucking than my brother was with his daughter. How do I plan to do that? Well, Isaac will put his thumb/hand in his mouth for two main reasons: (1) to calm himself down… when he’s upset or tired and (2) cause he’s teething. He won’t be teething forever, and as for #1 it will be my job to teach Isaac 3-year-old ways to calm himself down: count to ten, draw, read a book, play a game, talk with someone, etc, etc.
I’m sure my brother would laugh at that. Cause I know he tried his hardest to get his daughter to stop sucking hers. We’ll see how I do.
I’m doing a lot of things that members of my family would call “spoiling” or otherwise creating bad habits for us and Isaac. But Isaac is just a 4-month old. So I shouldn’t worry too much yet about how he’s going to be when he’s 4 or 5-years old. Sure, crying for “no reason” and being held could be a bad thing for a 4-year old to do. But a 4-month old doesn’t know any better. For Isaac now, it’s important to teach him that his parents are there for him when he needs them… that’s all he understands.
I know that Isaac is going to get older, smarter, and more mature. And as he does, I will be able to teach him how to be patient, control his emotions, go to bed on his own, and all the things he’ll need to do.
I’ll teach him about patience when he understands what patience means. I’ll teach him about discipline when he can understand what discipline means. I’ll teach him about respect when he can understand what respect means. In the meantime, I’ll teach him about love and happiness and curiosity. Those seem to be the things he understands now.
Babies do not sleep all the time. And even when they do, you’re not going to be able to get much done. That is one of the lessons I’ve learned so far as a new dad.
Before Kim and I decided to have a baby, we did an exercise where at various times throughout the day we would ask ourselves “What would we be doing right now if we had a baby?” To a lot of these questions, we’d answer “The same thing. The baby would just be sleeping in the corner/on the couch/in his crib while we worked/ate/watched tv.” Not really.
I’ve read that newborns can sleep as much as 16-18 hours a day. Isaac is almost 3 months old. I’d say he sleeps 12-14 hours a day.
If we are lucky, Isaac will sleep 4-6 hours straight at night… and he’ll have a 3-4 hour nap in the middle of the day. The other x hours of sleep comes in 30min or 1-2 hour chunks. Worst of all, you can never tell how long one of these naps is going to be. So you’ll find you can do some dishes or a little bit of house work, but don’t think about getting into that long, involved work project while you’re “on shift”.
I don’t mean to paint a bleak picture of things or focus on the negative. After a couple months, Kim and I have figured out how to take care of Isaac and still get work done and take care of the house and have a bit of time alone or together. Family helps. However, I did underestimate how much attention a sleeping baby takes.
[edit: I’ll have to make sure to post some more upbeat stories.]
I’m told “it gets better” as he gets older. I think that instead of Isaac becoming better at “entertaining himself”, we’ll become better at getting things done in less time. I’ve already trimmed a bunch of wasted activity out of my daily routine.(Kim will tell you there is more to trim and she might be right.)
Babies require your attention even when they are sleeping. Get “things” done when you can.
So that’s lesson #1 I suppose. Before I learn any more lessons, I’ll be posting how I think things are going to go over the next 10-12 months. And then we’ll see how I fare.
On the fatblogging side of things: 237 pounds. 2775 calories. I tried to go out for a run to burn the extra 275 calories, but couldn’t make it. I’ll have to make it up tomorrow. I’ve been doing okay, but do get hungry between dinner and bedtime. When I’m hungry, I’m losing weight.
I’m a dad. I don’t write here much lately. Who knows. Maybe I’ll put some good stuff up here.
In the meantime, I’m getting Kim this book and need a link to follow for me to skim my x% from my Amazon Associates account.
Got this email about the Borgata going smoke free. Very awesome of them. They might already be the most popular casino down there, but they’ll be doing even better. The other casinos should quickly follow suit.
Borgata to be first Atlantic City casino to go 100% smoke-free
In an effort to best accommodate our customers — smokers and
non-smokers alike — Borgata Hotel Casino & Spa has submitted plans to the
NJ Department of Community Affairs (DCA) that will make the resort
the first 100% smoke-free casino in Atlantic City. To accommodate smoking guests, Borgata will offer several outdoor lounges that will be designated smoking areas. These outdoor spaces will offer guests a comfortable, climate-controlled environment reminiscent of Borgata.
We feel this decision will best maintain the fresh, upscale atmosphere
associated with Borgata, while accommodating both
smokers and non-smokers alike.
Subject to NJ DCA approval, the plans will take effect in compliance
with the Atlantic City smoke free ordinance.
Just this morning, I booked a room for Kim and I for our anniversary. (I proposed to her at a suite at the Borgata.) Not sure if it will be smoke free by then, but we can hope.
I met Bo at a Haverford College Alumni function, and since then we’ve become friends and colleagues. Last month I set Bo up with a blog at www.boheadquarters.com.
There is some great writing up there already… some short stories and poetry that Bo had in his stash. I’m so excited to see what he writes once he gets into the swing of things and starts updating more regularly. The blogosphere needs more folks like Bo; his voice and opinions are really unique and not at all like the typical stuff out there.